The Monster Hunter Ballad

by Gray Rinehart

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about

Inspired by the MONSTER HUNTER series of novels by Larry Correia, published by Baen Books.
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lyrics

THE MONSTER HUNTER BALLAD

They say that what you don't know, it won't hurt you
But everything "they" tell you is a lie
Jethro Tull had it right, there are beasties in the night
Better keep a loaded weapon by your side

Don't you worry, little darlin', Monster Hunter's on the call
Protecting you while you sleep safe and sound
We've got the bounty on the beasties and the Good Lord on our side
Anytime the scary monsters come around . . . we'll put them down

I believe the best vampire is a dead one
And most werewolves aren't all that civilized
I sure don't want one of them dating my daughter
You know they only sparkle when they're on fire

Don't be afraid now, little darlin', Monster Hunter's on the case
Against everything that goes bump in the night
Lock your doors and draw the shades and keep your weapon close at hand
We'll do everything to get to you in time . . . and you'll be fine

When the monster's at the door you can run or you can fight
You can call on 9-1-1 for your protection
The boys in blue won't be as much help as your trusty little friend
Samuel Colt or Glock or good old Smith & Wesson

Hold your ground now, little darlin', Monster Hunter's on the way
Stand and fight, and this may be your finest hour
Whatever monster's got your cornered we will fight them one or all
We'll keep the peace through superior firepower . . . 2nd Amendment firepower

Bridge:
The Queen of Elves lives in a trailer in the middle of the woods
Drinking beer and heating Ho-Hos by the score
The orcs all like to party, you see, they're just misunderstood
They're our friends and allies in the monster war


Don't you worry, little darlin', Monster Hunter's on the call
Protecting you while you sleep safe and sound
We've got the bounty on the beasties and the Good Lord on our side
Anytime the scary monsters come around . . . we'll put them down
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credits

released November 30, 2012
Words and music by Gray Rinehart
Gray Rinehart - vocals
Mark Minervino - instruments and backing vocals
Recorded at MKM Studios, Cary, NC
Engineered and produced by Mark Minervino

Cover Image: "Monster Hunter International" by Alan Pollack, www.AlanPollack.com
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Gray Rinehart North Carolina

Gray Rinehart writes science fiction, fantasy, assorted nonfiction, and the odd song. Or odd songs.

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